How are you? I could not believe the extent of your story. I am so very sorry.
I hope you are in a place of quiet anonymity. Your creative method can open something profound and earth shifting. I feel that is your plight. You were offered this pain to shout truth. I feel that is my work as well. Just is. Just is time, and surrender. This is the hardest work we will do. But that, is why, it is, so important.
I am here for you sister. You do not know me other than through words, and I am thankful for that.
I hope sleep is in the near future for you. Dream well; they will come if not to you, to your partner.
Much Love and Admiration.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Support: Milk Comes In
Oh Friend, I am sorry.
I remember that excruciating pain so completely when the milk comes in and our baby is not there.
It felt like so much loss all over again. We are told how to bind ourselves, guided on how to posture our bodies in the shower, in the world, and yet our baby is not there.
If you can, hold in your heart and mind that this is the last of the physical pains during your grief. When it passes and the milk dries, and it will, you will emerge to a new level of release because your body will be yours again. You will be able to find a deeper love and understanding to move.
You are so smart in your inner guides; feeding what you need right now (sleep, walks, baking, cleaning, gardening, writing, telling your baby's story). Do what soothes your spirit and mind.
You are not alone.
Much love and presence,
Sister of Grief
I remember that excruciating pain so completely when the milk comes in and our baby is not there.
It felt like so much loss all over again. We are told how to bind ourselves, guided on how to posture our bodies in the shower, in the world, and yet our baby is not there.
If you can, hold in your heart and mind that this is the last of the physical pains during your grief. When it passes and the milk dries, and it will, you will emerge to a new level of release because your body will be yours again. You will be able to find a deeper love and understanding to move.
You are so smart in your inner guides; feeding what you need right now (sleep, walks, baking, cleaning, gardening, writing, telling your baby's story). Do what soothes your spirit and mind.
You are not alone.
Much love and presence,
Sister of Grief
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Garden
To escape the demands of my men's gentle commands, I enter the space that offers such grace in light and love
The Garden.
She is feminine female fabulous--she is mine.
I feel my sisters, mothers, grandmothers, daughters dressed in lupine longing or lavender lengthening. The seeds grow in tenderness and search. Are we not the same?
The birds and insects worship her by spreading her story. She is valued. She is adored.
She is female.
The Garden.
She is feminine female fabulous--she is mine.
I feel my sisters, mothers, grandmothers, daughters dressed in lupine longing or lavender lengthening. The seeds grow in tenderness and search. Are we not the same?
The birds and insects worship her by spreading her story. She is valued. She is adored.
She is female.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I Fight For You
Loose the righteous.
Loose the Ego before it takes you through the throws-go.
You say you be fire--and that be true.
Is there a way we can understand you?
Take the mole out of the hole and feel the weight to move to grow.
Be that light so you can fight for your children's children to see for sight.
Loose the Ego before it takes you through the throws-go.
You say you be fire--and that be true.
Is there a way we can understand you?
Take the mole out of the hole and feel the weight to move to grow.
Be that light so you can fight for your children's children to see for sight.
Dear Mr. Diamond, You Helped Me Find A Way
Dear Mr. Diamond,
Your words eased my heart as it broke in pieces beyond recognition.
We watched you on a television, burning beside the firelight that never went out, grieving over our Nora gone. I found voice from your singing voice. I found a space through your words to feel that grace and wonderment of the pain. I began to understand that it would move through and around me. I would not become the hurt. I would be found.
I and my family thank you Mr. Diamond. We thank you.
"Dry Your Eyes" (From "The Last Waltz")
-Neil Diamond
Dry your eyes and take your song out, it's a newborn afternoon.
And if you can't recall the singer you can still recall the tune.
Dry your eyes and play it slowly like you're marching off to war;
Sing it like you know he'd want it, like we sang it once before.
And from the center of the circle to the midst of the waiting crowd,
If it ever be forgotten sing it long and sing it loud and come dry your eyes.
And he taught us more about giving than we ever cared to know,
But we came to find the secret and we never let it go.
And it was more than being holy and it was less than being free,
And if you can't recall the reason can you hear the people sing.
Right through the lightning and the thunder to the dark side of the moon,
To that distant falling angel that descended much too soon
And come dry your eyes.
Come dry your eyes.
Your words eased my heart as it broke in pieces beyond recognition.
We watched you on a television, burning beside the firelight that never went out, grieving over our Nora gone. I found voice from your singing voice. I found a space through your words to feel that grace and wonderment of the pain. I began to understand that it would move through and around me. I would not become the hurt. I would be found.
I and my family thank you Mr. Diamond. We thank you.
"Dry Your Eyes" (From "The Last Waltz")
-Neil Diamond
Dry your eyes and take your song out, it's a newborn afternoon.
And if you can't recall the singer you can still recall the tune.
Dry your eyes and play it slowly like you're marching off to war;
Sing it like you know he'd want it, like we sang it once before.
And from the center of the circle to the midst of the waiting crowd,
If it ever be forgotten sing it long and sing it loud and come dry your eyes.
And he taught us more about giving than we ever cared to know,
But we came to find the secret and we never let it go.
And it was more than being holy and it was less than being free,
And if you can't recall the reason can you hear the people sing.
Right through the lightning and the thunder to the dark side of the moon,
To that distant falling angel that descended much too soon
And come dry your eyes.
Come dry your eyes.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
You Asked How We Remember On February 28.
Her birthday is approaching and you ask me how we remember.
The first year--was the year.
The second year--I cried and cried and lovely Fin entered our hearts and hands.
The third year--I was pregnant, with our darling Kai.
This year--I will garden, with all my might.
The first year--was the year.
The second year--I cried and cried and lovely Fin entered our hearts and hands.
The third year--I was pregnant, with our darling Kai.
This year--I will garden, with all my might.
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