March 21, 2007: She Spoke To Me In A Dream

Dream:

It was her celebration, her memorial.  I held Nora's body.

I saw my cousins and invited them to see her.  Somehow Nora woke and began moving just as she did when she was in-utero.  I started talking to her.  We all cried deeply.  She opened her eyes and they were ocean blue.  She kept looking at me with wonder, wisdom.  She knew why she was there.  I, on the other hand, was over come with motherly hunger.  Over and over I tried to wrap her feet in blankets, wanting to bundle her in order to warm her body but she would wriggle away and without mouthing words, she began speaking to me through her eyes.  She told me she did not need to be bundled.

I carried her to Alex.  Alex and I searched and held her in awe.  We gathered our old hopes again, our old dreams of raising a live daughter for this world.  Once our focus was on the hopes, the dreams and not on her in our arms; she left us again.

Her body was limp and just a body.  Her soul, her spirit had left.  As I held her body to my chest, I cried great pain again.  But the eyes of Nora were real and intimately knowing.  I found comfort in that memory.